An easy question to ask “What is your identity?” But is that easy to answer? Not for many people. How do you measure identity? What is the process by which you state your identity? Is it in what you do or how you are? Who are you? What do others think you are when they see you? Do they measure you by your looks or what you do?
So what is it precisely that defines you? Is it what you do, where you live, how you look, or what you really are? In fact, it is all of that and more. You are not a human doing but a human being. What you are and how you behave to others is important, where you live is not really important. You can be the kindest person living on the street and the rudest person living in a palace. Place in society does not define you. Beauty is not the be all and end all of existence, especially if you are inconsiderate and uncaring of others.
Identity is all of that and more. Sometimes we get caught up in ourselves being a doing person and our job/role in life that we forget who we actually are. The role becomes what we are and we lose ourselves in the process. We need to look at ourselves in ALL of life and what we are not really what we do. I am a wife and mother but write blogposts, poems and am a creative artist. Not one of my roles defines me specifically but they are all a part of me.
What about the things you enjoy in life? They are also part of your identity. For me, I love horse riding and watching cooking and restaurant programmes. What do you enjoy? I think we tend to lose ourselves so easily and don’t focus on things we enjoy. Our roles become all our life and nothing else is part of us.
Finding ourselves again is not an easy task. I can testify to that myself. When I left England for Scotland, I had no idea of what I liked or who I was. It has taken me 8 years and more to begin to find myself and who I really am. When I first met my loving husband, I just agreed with everything he said because he seemed to know what to do and was so secure in his belief in himself. After 8 years, I am finally finding out what I am and what I can do and what I LOVE to do.
Whether you are part of the way in discovering yourself or at the end point where you are secure in your position in life, it doesn’t matter. This is a never ending journey and I don’t want to reach 50 exactly the same as I am now. People develop and improve as they grow older. The basic element of who are is the same but the knowledge takes time to discover.
I would love to hear from you, no matter what stage of the journey you are at. For myself, I don’t want you to view me as a teacher in this process but as a learner alongside me. Do you know your true and full identity or are you still in the process of discovering? That’s ok. It has taken me 8 years to begin to find myself. How long it will take you, I have no idea but we can take this journey together.